The First Book of Nephi: Chapter 7

So, after that brief interlude, Nephi gets back to the story. His Dad's just been prophesying stuff (that he's not putting in here) and is now listening to his father's latest vision - namely that he needs to find wives for his sons.

Yes, the Lord commanded them to go back to Jerusalem again. Where they've already upset the Jews, killed the King and made off with a priceless historical record. To go nick a dude called "Ishmael" and his family. He's got daughters. When they got to Ish's house, he was so impressed that they'd spoken to God that he actually agreed to make the whole family go with them into the wilderness.

And they weren't pleased about it. Neph's older brothers were getting really fed up with the schlepping about (remember, they didn't want to leave home anyway) and so were Ishmael's sons (and their families). They just wanted to go home already, rather than keep going back and forth and back and forth to that stupid tent in the middle of nowhere.

Nephi gets prickly over this and gives all of them a telling off, reminding them of the Angel, and that God saved them - the escaping from the mob and the stealing of the book. And that he's trying to save them from God's destruction of Jerusalem "at some future period". So here's your choice: if you go back there, you'll die with them all.

Which incited the older boys to attempt to kick some sense into their baby brother. They tied him up with a bit of string and dumped him.

Nephi prayed to God, whom set him free. He came back to the brothers, and they would have been happy to kick the living snot out of the idiot again if Ishmael's family weren't all "Dudes, leave it. It's not worth the hassle." The brothers apologised like they were told to by their new girlfriends (and I'm sure had to bite their tongues as he got all snotty and righteous about it).

They all mooched back to the tent and sent up MORE sacrifices and offerings.

The First Book of Nephi: Chapter 8

After a while had passed, they'd managed to gather all kinds of seeds. And his Dad had another dream.

This time it told him that Sam and Nephi (the "good" sons) will be saved. But that the older boys need to sort their attitudes and sharpish.

There was a dreary wilderness, and a man in a white robe appeared, telling him to follow.

So Dad followed him in the gloom for many hours, before praying to God to quit making him miserable - and LO! A lovely field. With a fruit tree! A magic fruit tree with yummy, yummy (and magically white inside! They really have a thing for white.) fruit that made people happy.

He went looking for his family in this "vision" so that they could see how amazing this happy-fruit is. And there were Sam and Nephi and Mum, and they all had fruit. Hurray! But the older boys were stuck on the wrong side of the river and wouldn't cross to try the tasty fruit. (Can anyone say eeeeew-faaaa-mizzzz-um?)

So Dad held out an iron rod out across the river.

Many people tried to get to the tree, but many got lost and were lost. Other people managed to grab hold of this iron rod that Dad held out - and made it safely to the tree.

Some of these people looked around after they ate the tasty fruit, saw other people mocking them, and ran off and were lost. (You remember I mentioned euphamisms? Yeah...) Some of the people ate the fruit, went into a big building and then stood ridiculing the others that were going to eat the fruit.

Nephi says he'll trim the story short - suffice to say that many managed to get to the fruit, despite the darkness and being ridiculed. The ones that didn't make it clearly didn't listen to Dad.

The bad sons didn't get to enjoy the tasty fruit in this dream, so they should really get their acts together already, or they're going to miss out for real. He told them to keep the commandments of God, and then quit talking to them.

The First Book of Nephi: Chapter 9

Nephi's dad dreamt much more stuff, but apparently either wasn't interesting enough to be recorded, or Nephi couldn't be bothered.

It gets kinda circular, he says he's not recording the history of the people on these plates, but there is a full account on some plates that he's called Nephi.

"Nevertheless" he has been told by God that he needs to make a record of the history.
Some plates will have "the ministry of my people" and others will have kings and wars and more plates with history and kings and wars.

God told him to use them for a wise purpose, but he doesn't know what that is. But that's cool. God knows all things, and so there you go. Amen.

The First Book of Nephi: Chapter 10

That last chapter was a bit short too. Sorry. It's literally six paragraphs in the book too, so I'm not swizzing you out of anything deadly interesting, I promise.

Nephi does waffle on a bit and repeat himself somewhat, despite the plates being limited in space, precious, and only for important-to-God stuff...

On this one, he's saying again what things he's going to be writing down. Basically repeats chapter 9.

Anyway, Dad finishes telling everyone about his latest dream (yegads, hearing about other people's dreams is boring and confusing at the best of times.) and started going on about the Jews being destroyed or turned into slaves if they don't sort themselves out.

But he also says that, in six hundred years exactly, there'll be a Messiah. He describes the prophets whom will tell the stories of this Saviour and how even he, Lehi, Dad, isn't worthy of undoing this guy's shoelaces. He also goes on about baptising and then the Messiah will take away the sins of the world. (In fact, this is an amazing bit of prophesying, because John the Baptist says exactly the same thing, word for word, 2200 years later in the King James translation. Pretty much exactly word for word. Almost like someone plagiarised it. I wonder why Jesus thought John was the greatest seer in the world, and not Lehi? I mean, this dude's got all kinds of details seriously spot on, right down to the exact location that John will baptise people.)

He prophesies that the Jews will kill... aww for Pete's sake, let's just call him Jesus already. Yeesh! Anyway, they'll kill Jesus and he'll rise again and "make himself manifest."

Dad compares the house of Israel to a trashed olive tree, with broken branches "scattered upon all the face of the earth" - and how they need to get there first to start telling people about this great Messiah. Who isn't even due for another six hundred years.

He said a pile of other stuff, all of which Neph didn't write down either, but he's written them down for his next novel. I mean, plates.

Neph then rattles on how exciting it'll be to have a Messiah (no matter that you know, six hundred years is a bit out of your average person's lifetime. I'm just saying, don't hold your breath Nephi. Or do. Wouldn't really make much difference, you're not going to see him whilst you're still alive anyway, whether you suffocated or not. Harsh, but true.)

At which point he reminds us all that we're going to be judged and those "unclean" will be "cast off forever". The Holy Ghost has said he's allowed to say that, so there.

The First Book of Nephi: Chapter 11

After all the dreams his Dad had, Nephi wanted one of his own - after all, the tree one was pretty neat. And so, God gave him a vision of a mountain that he'd never seen before.

The Spirit told him: "You are blessed, and so you will see the things you most want. I'll show you the tree. I'll show you a man coming from heaven (that's Jesus). I'll even speak to you like a man normally talks. I'll show you the cities of Jerusalem and Nazareth, and a virgin in that city. You see her? Do you understand what the condescension of God is?"

Neph responded that God loves his children, but that he (Nephi) didn't understand what it all meant.

The Spirit explained that it was Mary and showed an image of her holding the child. "NOW do you get what the tree is about?"

(Really? He didn't understand the tree?!)

The Spirit pretty much rolled his eyes and showed him a vision of God wanderin amongst people, many of whom prayed to him. He showed Neph the rod of iron and explained all the symbolism - basically everything = love of God.

Nephi saw Jesus's baptism and the Holy Ghost coming from heaven as a dove. He saw Jesus ministering to the people and the twelve followers. He saw angels descend and minister to men. He saw Jesus cure people, and God judge the world. He saw Jesus slain on the cross, and "the apostles of the Lamb" going up against the people of the world whom came flooding out of a huge building (representative of the pride of the world - which fell down).

Basically, the people, nations, lanuages and families will be destroyed as a result of refusing the "apostles of the Lamb."